Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz

Before I moved to Germany, when I was just contemplating the idea and wondering what it would be like to learn German, I went to wikipedia.org to read about the origins of the language. What I found was slightly disheartening…the English language is basically a dumbed down version of the German language.

My aunt, who took German in high school (damn, why didn’t I think of that!) just sent me an email saying that one of the funny things she remembers about German is how they put words together to form one gigantic word that describes an idea. This is something that Nico and I often laugh about, because he will ask me, “What’s the word in English for when you set up an ongoing automatic payment for a bill with your bank.” In German, this is “Einzugsermächtigung.” In a way, it’s fairly efficient. Don’t waste time using lots of words to explain something, just make one word. Okay, it’s a long word, but it’s still shorter than saying it in English.

Of course, this shows me that the German I am learning is pretty basic and probably makes me sound like a child. We have learned only one word (that I can remember) that is quite so long, which is Staatsangehörigkeit, which means nationality. Even though I feel pretty good at the speed with which I am picking up German, I know that I still have a long, long way to go. (I wonder what the German word is for that?)

PS The title is one of the longest words in German and means "Law on delegation of supervision duties for marking of cattle and labeling of beef."

What kind of music do YOU listen to???

In preparation for my trip to Berlin this weekend, I was browsing some music listings. I have to share, because I just kept laughing out loud at the descriptions of the bands. In these listings (NONE of which I made up, I swear), the name of the band is listed first, then their category of music. If you don’t believe me that I didn’t make these up, here’s the link http://www.zitty.de/event/music/index.asp?s=1&e=C

Torchous
Post-Noise, Chanson-Core

Strings Like Wings
Deep-Purple-Cover

Six Reasons to Kill
Melodic Trash Metal

Action
Hardcore aus Tschechien - ''Beatdown Massacre''

(Hardcore beatdown massacre music from Chechnya, sounds lovely!)

Cosma
Rock - ''destination: Rock!''

(Recently I saw an ad for some special exhibit about Martin Luther that was entitled: “Luther!“ That cracks me up every time I think about it, like it’s the title song from a new Broadway musical and someone dressed in a brown cassock is going to come dancing onto the stage with a hammer and a manifesto.)

Cowboys On Dope
Psychedelic Country Rock

Disgrace
Hi-Energy-Punk-n-Roll

Fat Chaplin
Groovy Hardrock

Gods On Vacation
Stoner Rock

(Is there supposed to be an apostrophe in here somewhere?)

Kesseteens
Desperate Glam Punk 'n' Roll

(Are they desperately glam, or just desperate?)

Klingonz
(GB) – Psycho

Lipstick
Post Apocalyptic Electro

Lumpen
(I) - Antifascist Streetpunk

Mantas 666
(Ex-Venom), Support

Phantom Rockers
(USA) – Psychobilly

Porcupine Tree
Psychedelic Space Rock

Rekkord
Funky Blowpop

Skambankt
(S) – Schweinerock

(If you eat schwein, then you listen to schweinrock.)

Female Distortion
Human Eaters – Rock

(I eat humans, therefore, I listen to Human Eaters-Rock.)

I'm American, but I ain't no lady

The other day I went to a New Members Night for the American Ladies Club. It’s not actually called the ladies club, I just say that to be disparaging. I didn’t go with the highest expectations. Nico says this must mean that I don’t think so highly of Americans. I say, well…you know, New York is not really like the rest of America.

For the most part, the ladies were fine. Actually, not all of them were American. I guess you just have to want to spend time with Americans to be in this club. Apparently they’ve been getting a lot of new members lately. Odd timing. But anyway, the first woman I talked to was going on and on about how she hated to leave the States, because she had this AMAZING apartment with a doorman, a roof deck, a gym in the building, great view (the list went on and on, it was ridiculous), and she came here and she DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A DOORMAN. Can you believe it????? You mean you had to wipe your own ass? It’s like living in the third world!

But the award for most truly awful hateful skank goes to Rita, a really unattractive lawyer from LA. Rita asked me if I was working, and I told her that right now I was focusing on learning German. She proceeded to lecture me about how I really should get a job.

Rita: You know, a lot of the American women who come here with their husbands, they don’t get a job because they say it’s just a nightmare or whatever. But if you don’t do it now, if you wait for a year, then you’ll never do it because you’ll be unmotivated.

Me: Uh huh

Rita: It’s really important for you to have your own life with your own friends, and once you realize that people just have jobs for the social aspect, then you’ll be much better off. If you have your own life and your own friends, your husband will be much happier.

Me: Right. Well, if I get a life it’ll be so that I’ll be happy, not so that my husband will be happy.

Rita: You know, some women they just sit around waiting for their husbands, and then 30 years go by and they wonder why their marriages fail.

Me: (barely contained look of hatred)

Rita: So, where are you from?

Me: Well, I was born in Virginia, but I’ve been living in New York for the last eight years.

Rita: As an adult?

Me: Um, yeesss, I’ve been an adult for the last eight years.

At this point, I decided that if I just looked at her with a slight grimace indicating my complete displeasure with her whole being, she would get disinterested and look away. She started talking to my neighbour about Yale and how although the college she had been in hadn’t been the most attractive, they had the highest average IQ. Then I barfed all over the table.