Would you like to Supersize that?

Nico and I were talking this weekend about various baby-related issues and we came upon the issue of circumcision. I asked Nico what he thought about it, but he didn't know what the word meant. So I said, "You know, if it's a boy, snip snip." "Aah," he said. So we talked about the pros and cons that we knew of and then Nico said, "Wait, what was the word again...customize?"

Hi, this is my son Giuseppe. I'd like to have him customized, please.

I Know What I'm Getting for Christmas

I've never really been very good at keeping secrets and this one is no exception: I'm pregnant! ( I always found it really a bit strange when people say "we're pregnant." As far as I know I'm the only one who feels like puking all day. And more to the point, I'm the only one who is imagining that the word "tearing" is going to apply to parts of my body. But I digress...)

My parents and I started referring to the unborn one as Giuseppe on our recent trip to Italy. Kind of cruel if it turns out to be a girl, but something tells me it's a boy. Due to arrive sometime around Christmas.

Trip Down Memory Lane

Just had to bring back Moe...

my subway ride home was slightly more entertaining than usual this evening...

I entered the train and, as there were no seats, was standing near the door. Just before the door closed, two guys got on the train and, when the train lurched forward, the guy who was not holding on (and was seriously drunk), stepped hard on my foot. I made some sort of pain-induced noise, just overly-dramatic enough to display my irritation and looked at him to wait for some sort of acknowledgment that he had just stepped on my (sandal-ed and therefore unprotected) foot. He eventually looked over at me and put his hand on my back, apologizing, "Sorry sweetheart."

After a couple of stops, two seats opened up. I took one and the drunk guy's friend took the one next to me. I was mostly trying to ignore them, but it sounded like there had been some sort of incident with a woman they know and they were discussing what would happen next ("i don't give a fuck what she thinks" "man, she's gonna blackmail your ass, that's what she gonna do."). next thing i know, drunk guy (who is standing in front of me), is trying to get my attention by tapping on my new yorker magazine.

drunk guy: "uh, excuse me.."

i give him the "i'm just a new yorker trying to get home on the subway, don't bother me" hand.

drunk guy: "nah, nah, don't give me the hand. i just want to ask you a question. let's just say - now i know that i could never get with you, but let's just say, hypothetically...."

me: (head in new yorker, not looking up) "..."

drunk guy: "are you listening to me?"

me: "no"

drunk guy: "okay, well at least you answered me."

drunk guy (to his friend): "now see, this is a perfect example of what i'm talking about. you see the way she just brushed me off? did you see the way she brushed me off? now how are you gonna ask me about betty? the same thing is gonna happen there. and if i ask this other young lady on the other side of you, she gonna say the same thing."

(further discussion on this same topic went on for a long time, most of which i successfully ignored.

then drunk guy decides to address the entire subway car as his friend cringed in embarassment and said, "aw man, this mother fucker's crazy"):

"good evening ladies and gentlemen. my name is moe, at least that's what people call me. i ain't out here to ask for money or sell you anything or preach the gospel. i simply want to ask a question: if someone who you didn't know, asked you 'can i get with you', would you get with them? i'm being serious, okay? if a stranger came up to you on the subway and asked if you would get with them, would you go with them? can it happen? i'm not asking any one of you to get with me, i'm just asking if it can happen. so anyone who thinks it can happen, raise your hand. come on, let me hear you raise your hand..."

silence

"aw man, come on, i am trying to find out, can this happen? HEY YOU - WAKE UP - can it happen? can you find love on the train? i mean, we're all looking for love, right? isn't that what it's all about? we're all looking for a relationship. so now none of ya'll want to say that you're thinking about it, but i know you are. you're looking around the train, thinking - is it him? is it her? can it happen to me?"

he proceeded to ask nearly everyone on the train if they thought it could happen. but he got to one dreadlocked guy who was not interested in playing around. when moe asked him, he said, "i know people probably listen to you all day at work and that's fine, but i ain't interested. don't talk to me."

moe: "yes, but can it happen?"

dread: "don't talk to me."

moe: "yes, but can it happen?"

dread: "don't talk to me."

moe: "yes, but i'm asking you can it happen?"

dread: "don't talk to me."

moe: "can...it...happen..."

things escalated until dreadlocked guy stood up and said, "get your hands off me." at this point moe's friend came over (as did several other "heroic" men) to calm things down. at the next stop, moe's friend dragged him off the train. as we were waiting in the station, moe kept running up to the train doors to say "find love" and "don't give up - it can happen" "find love or you'll end up alone....like me"

i love new york.

Unsolicited Creepy Comment

One of the most striking differences for me here is that people feel entitled to say extremely personal comments to you about things which are none of their business. And I'm talking about total strangers. And I'm talking about rude things.

A couple of months ago, after a big snow storm, we were walking in the park with the girls. They were throwing snowballs in the water to see if the ducks would swim over, thinking that the snow was food. After a while, the girls tired of their experiment and walked away. When we got to the bottom of the hill, a woman approached us and told us that she thought it was really horrible that we allowed the children to throw snow at animals.

On another occasion, Nico shouted at Karlotta as she veered off the sidewalk and onto a busy street. A man in a nearby shop asked why Karlotta was crying, Nico responded that it was because he had shouted at her, and the man said, oh, you shouldn't yell at children.

Lastly, when Nico once took the girls to the zoo a few years ago, the two plopped themselves down on the (freshly pebbled) path and started collecting pebbles in their pocket. An older woman came over and started yelling at them, telling them that it was wrong to take things that weren't theirs and what would happen if all the little kids came and took the pebbles.

But the prize for creepiest unsolicited comment goes to a politician we met on the street yesterday. Perhaps you have heard something about Germany's tumbling birthrate (the lowest in the EU) - the Minister of Families is really setting a good example...she's got seven kids. I think it's no coincidence that the Minister of Families has seven kids, and there's something about that that I find a little weird. She may very well have lots of other qualifications, but I have to imagine that her fertility was part of the decision. But anyway, we were at a neighborhood street fair yesterday with the girls, and we walked past a booth for the SPD party. The woman standing out front offered apples to the girls and then congratulated me on having done a good job by having two babies. Now, setting aside the fact that they aren't my children...

EWWWWW! Excuse me, I just find that so inappropriate and creepy!! Let's just say that for a moment, they are my children. Did I have them for the Fatherland? Did I have them because I feel compelled to do my part to raise the national birthrate???

I like New York better. People still say shit to you, and a lot of it is pretty creepy and inappropriate, but at least it's not somebody monitoring and evaluating your behavior, telling you what you should and should not do.

Moe, where are you when I need you???

Will We Be Spanked??

Going back in time a little bit, here is a shot of our wedding. I have, until this point, kept this photo to myself, because it's just so completely embarassing. But what's the fun in that - it's that same glutton for punishment in me that always tells my friend Thomas the most embarassing details of my life, knowing that he will harass me until the end of my days by reminding me of them (sometimes in the presence of others).

The story is, we decided to get married in Denmark, because the bureaucracy in Germany and the US was too much for us to handle. The guy working in the marriage office in Hamburg suggested going to Denmark. Sure enough, when we googled "marry denmark" we found marriage agents galore. In March, we went to a little town near the western coast of Denmark called Ribe, the oldest town in Denmark, actually, and had our ceremony in the old city hall, which dates from 1496.

The woman doing the ceremony was standing on a podium, which is why we are looking up. I can't decide if we look more like baby birds waiting for worms or little school kids in the principal's office. What do you think?